The Ceremony of the Trees - Part Three

It is only now, when I have left this place that I am able to return, and even now sometimes on the drive in I am overwhelmed with tiredness or lethargy. It's not right...I love to be here, it's my family home, the landscape of my childhood, it's where I left the magic...buried in the woods.

I have returned to claim it.

A journey revealed a vision and this is how it unfolds...

My feelings were unsettled as I drove home...home...I still call it that even though it's been a year, home is where the heart is, so they say. As I approached, my old stomping ground, I saw a Crow land in one of trees above me. Crowe is an ancestral name on my Mother's side, and Crow is one of my Totem's.

The Crow suggests a time of new beginnings, there is energy and magic surrounding me, a period of great potential is emerging. It suggests new opportunities and I should be watchful so that I may act on them as they arise. Conversation will be important if I wish to get that which I need. Group activities may provide the best format for me at this time, rather than solitary pursuits; a means to rediscover the magic within my life.

I took it as a good omen for the work that I hoped to do and tried to quell the uneasy churning within. As I grew nearer to the forest a sense of foreboding settled round me not aided by the dankness of the day. I parked up and skittishly got out of the car. I collected my things and paused as I debated whether or not to lock up...I looked around...there was no sign of him...heaving a sigh I hit the button, the car was now secure...but I was not...

I clambered over the gate and the fencepost's, twice catching myself on the barbs wrapped around it, though luckily neither pierced through. As I entered the woods a huge, Heron swooped up from under the bridge, it glided up the length of the river and disappeared from sight...I reached frantically for my camera all fingers and thumbs, at it's breath taking grace; unwilling and unable, to tear my gaze away. My feelings of despondency fled.

The Heron signifies that I am a woman that knows what I want emotionally. There is the implication that I am are used to being emotionally independent, though in relationships am found to be both reliable and committed. It advises me not to be impatient when it comes to love but to take action when needed and reminds me that I am not the person that I used to be, meaning that others may have to reassess their former opinions of me. The Heron tells me that assuming I follow my instincts, remaining true to myself rather than the guidance of others, I should embrace the opportunities presenting.

I stood silently, feeling the earth move and settle around me; I placed my hand on the Sentinel's sturdy trunk. "I've come for you," was all I said. Turning, I raised my hands to Spirit and began to call aloud; my voice rang unheeded through the branches and carried across the water, beyond the roar of its crashing over rocks. The Ancestors heard me, they came and lent their strength. To each tree I took a crystal; as I journeyed to make contact with the Spirit held within each ancient trunk, I slowly sketched a symbol onto the surface, drawing the energy into the stone and allowing the Spirit to cross over. When each crystal was charged I left it at the base of the tree, allowing the energies to merge, as I proceeded to the next. I was not disturbed...

When the fifth and final working had been done, I sat. I sat where I always sit and allowed my eyes to roam...what would I hear...where would I be drawn...what would nature bring me.......silence...emptiness...nothing...

The energy was gone.

It was my magic that brought the woods to life, the Spirits were my guides...they never let go of me...I left them behind...and my magic with them...

I collected my crystals...

As I climbed the gate for the last time, knowing I would never return, a wave of sadness washed over me. I gave thanks...for the good times, for the memories, for what we shared. With a bittersweet feeling I jumped the last few rungs..."Ow!" The wire finally caught me, third time lucky, thought I - damn. Touched then by a presence of old, I was kindly but firmly reminded; gifts are always exchanged, balance must always be kept. The price for this working, my blood...the blood of my ancestors.

The Ceremony of the Trees - Part Two...

Some time ago now, someone new moved to our valley. He talked about animal rights, countryside acts and the freedom or right to roam...he re-opened all the bridleways locally and bravely stomped through Bull filled fields and quarry land to demonstrate his status as an Eco-warrior. He works for a local television station and is never without his camera...he'd die for a tree, has found God, and threatens tractor drivers who dare assault a tree branch with their spikes.

I was always unsure...in theory he was a man of action, and I agreed with much of what he did...then.

He became and still is a public nuisance. He harasses the local council and lies quite happily to satisfy his private wants and needs. He has vandalised equipment and threatened to demolish neighbouring land owners stables if they won't bend to his whims, he has blocked off entrances to our land and tried to evict me from my legal home; the Police are beginning to think that this population of 25, may need an office of their own! To add insult to injury he bought the woods...the right to roam stops there... he owns it, it's his property and he has reinforced this point with both fencing and barbed wire. He has closed the two footpaths that I rode through as a child and usurped the local fishers from their fun. He drove a stake through the heart of the Sisters Wyrd and in doing so he banished me from my friends.

The Deer cannot pass this way, the otter and the badger's are contained, no one sees the Salmon jump or the Heron's glide...and a little girl was driven from the woods.

I had a dream shortly after it happened...I was down the woods, part of me or another me was buried in the ground and as I struggled to pull her free...she startled me with a screamed, "No!" her gaze falling behind me. I turned to see him stood there with an ax raised high above my head. As my eyes roamed the earth it revealed dismembered bodies, women torn and scattered limb from limb...I say women, they were me...I looked into my own eyes, those of this other self, "I'm sorry", I cried, "I can't help you, I have to save myself," I turned on my heels and ran. I ran harder than I ever have, I could feel him panting at my heels, as I fled for home in fear and despair, tears blurring my sight. We were gathered in the kitchen, the women of my line and as I told my tale, my sister looked increasingly disturbed; she climbed out of the window and ran, "bugger this I'm out of here," was it, and she was gone...and with it fled the vision of my dream.

My sister did leave after that, perhaps it was her aching heart that kept her away for so many years; though she's home now, there's still an empty space. I didn't know what to do...when I tried to return to the space of my childhood, it was over fences, gates and wire, I was breaking in... he found me there once, I stood my ground, while shaking in my boots...but I never ventured down alone again.

When creeping in cover of darkness, my cousin and I went to drum; we heard the returning cry of our ancestors across the water, rolling, pounding, beating...faster... faster, their thundering call echoed through the night. We'd just begun a healing, when a rush of energy assaulted us, it enveloped and surrounded us, howling in it's fury, there was evil in it's presence and madness on its breath...The black wolf at our heels drove us screaming from the forest, in fear for both our sanity and our lives.

When we passed beyond the gateway it was gone...

The Ceremony of the Trees - Part One

Over the last week or so I have felt an increasingly pressing need to do something for the trees where I used to live. It may seem an odd concept but I grew up with those trees, they were my friends. Over time I learnt their names; to work with them, to protect and ensure the safety of their woodland home.

The first tree you encounter as you enter the forest is The Sentinel, standing tall and proud, he looms towards the gateway, watching those that dare to pass through his domain. The path travels both sides of him and as in life you must choose which road on which to journey. When I worked there, it was usually with a tree further in, I always felt safe in the knowledge that he had my back and would warn me if someone intruded.

The place where I sit has a wonderful view up the river, though my photography does it little justice, in summer the Salmon here jump. Once while with my Partner an Otter came to play; my man was in the water when the otter dived in and headed straight for him. It was strangely scary after seeing films like Jaws, watching the movement through the water, as this small but speedy animal torpedoed towards him.

As I sit, in my solitude, I am not alone. The Moss is thick beneath my buttocks, and soft between my toes. He towers above me and I sense the depth of ancient wisdom at his heart. It is he that I seek to travel with, my protector, my champion, my guide; The Guardian of the Gates. His strength is my support and he holds me in his branches as I climb towards the Spirit world above...

When I've finished my workings, I visit with the Offering Tree; she has a deep hollow in her base, where I often leave food for local wildlife, along with tobacco, sage or crystals. This is where I give thanks...When I journey to the Lower World, this is where I come. Like Alice in Wonderland before me, I enter the darkness of the burrow and crawl down through her roots.

As you leave the woods two trees merge before you, they stand on the boundary, ever present, they are the watchers - The Sisters Wyrd... I've never really got close to them, their trunks stand high in the hedgerow, two grown from just one root. They feel like kin, ancestral ties...they remind me of the sisters of my own.

The Gecko...

Today I did some travelling through blog land and visited a few of my favourites As always the photographs posted at http://adventuresoftimtim.blogspot.com/ never fail to inspire me and the latest find of a Gecko out of season, struck me as possibly having some deeper significance.

From a Shamanic perspective animals can provide insight into things which are occurring in our lives and this is more likely to be the case if the animal is behaving in such a way as to draw attention to itself; if for example it is seen in an unusual place, out of season, or acting in an unlikely way, as though playing out a message.

The Gecko's message is this:


The Gecko teaches us to do what we must in struggles, there may be opposing energies at play in our lives and you are reminded not to be passive. While the Gecko is naturally harmless, it is not afraid to bite if provoked. If you prevent opposition from occurring now, you will prevent it in the future. You may experience greater dream activity at this time and Gecko advises you to pay attention to what is revealed. It is a time to do what you must to restore order and bring and end to any conflicts, Gecko teaches the importance of righteous anger and reminds you to use it.

Tree House?

Last nights dreams were a little more vague but I remember walking into the ground floor of a house and being met by the root system of a tree. As I looked upwards I could see that the tree had grown up through the ceiling and I climbed the stairs to investigate. On the second floor the vast trunk filled the centre of the room, as it continued upwards. By the third floor I finally began to see the trees branches, though these had broken through the roof as the tree journeyed skyward...

This was a clear image of the three worlds travelled by a Shaman, lower, middle and upper and is found in various guises throughout religion and mythology as for example, the Tree of Life, the Tree of Knowledge, the Bo-Tree of Buddha, the Philosopher's or Diana's Tree, and the Tree of the Universe.

In this instance it seemed to be an Oak Tree and it was its enormous trunk, the axis where it touched the earth, where lower and middle worlds meet, that drew my attention.

The Oak has been considered sacred for many reasons; firstly to the God of Thunder, as the Oak is believed more likely to be struck by lightning than other trees. It was venerated by the Druids and English history is rife with Oak trees, used for hiding, hanging, dining, meeting points, places of worship and it can also be seen as of royal significance in many instances.

I'm not sure of it's significance in my dream but generally in dream lore houses represent the soul and having formerly lived at Oakhill Farm and being twice struck by lightning, there is clearly a message for me here. Perhaps it is simply the point of being, where the Oak like the lightning meets the Earth and similarly to the Turtles of the night before I am being reminded to re-establish my connection to the Earth...as above, and so below...

I'm hoping that tonight will shed a little light on the matter.

Dreaming

The other night I had the strangest dream...

I was driving passed some land that my family used to own with my partner's sister Mog. As I looked down into the field I noticed a Turtle, "Tortoise," an inner voice corrected. It was quite narrow and predominantly black, it was male. As my gaze wandered, I noticed another Tortoise, this was a female. She was very light tan in colour, much wider and flatter; "hugging the Earth," informed the voice. Pleased by my finds but feeling that they were not safe where they were, I decided to take them with me, thinking I could keep them as a pair. When I place the male near the female, he attacked her; "snapping", said the voice distinctly. I carefully placed them in boxes and stowed them in the car.

We continued on our drive and approached some houses. The house next to the one we intended to visit had a name plaque reading Phaidos; "note the Greek significance," stated the voice, and, "it's very high up," somewhat less committal. When we tried to enter the house of our destination, I noticed Christmas lights strung across the driveway - two foot from the ground... "Can you manage," Mog inquired, "Yes," I replied, "I can get over this..."


Symbolic of Mother Earth, the Turtle implies the opportunity for something new to manifest within approximately one months time. There is an implication of a link to the lunar cycle with this Totem and as such could represent the birth or creation of a child. A perceived opportunity is a real opportunity, not an act of imagination; be prepared to take advantage of this. It is a good time to express and act on your ideas, a good time to implement changes. Slow down and steady yourself to the rhythm of the Earth; if you have trust you will find what you seek.



There seem to be several messages within this dream, some of which I understand and some I'm not so sure of, so I'm open to suggestions...

The lights create an obstacle, here occurring as potentially symbolising Christmas and approach (driveway/entrance) and my assumption is that this represents the miscarriage which finally came to pass at this time. While I would not say that I am over the experience, my hormones are beginning to settle which allows me the clarity and strength to deal with what has occurred.

The Greek language used could represent my partner and/or his sister as they both have Greek ancestry and their fathers name has a similar spelling, however this didn't raise any sensations within me as I pondered it, so I decided to delve a little deeper...I Googled it...

This is what I found...

"I still cannot, in accordance with the maxim at Delphi, know myself. I therefore think it ridiculous, as long as I don't know that, to devote my attention to something that is foreign to me."Plato : Phaidos, 230a (Socrates is talking).

Bi-focality or a consciousness of both the empirical ego and the own-Self, represents a higher panorama in which the empirical ego is completely integrated, giving less afflictive emotions, goodness and a deep, clear, open & strong mind. The own-Self is thus a "higher" Self.

This seemed to resonate more strongly with me, particularly since the word "higher" was emphasised within the dream. Equally since meeting my partner I have struggled to maintain the higher-self consciousness, I had held prior to that. In this instance he would represent the foreign (double significance if his Greek heritage is taken into account) presence to which I then began devoting my attention. The distraction from myself and my life purpose.

The snapping depicted by the first Tortoise, could in this scenario represent the more masculine qualities presenting as a result of ego, control dramas, power struggles and afflicting emotions, to which my higher self was not prone. This would suggest that I am therefore attacking myself as a result of this division of self.

The Turtle reminds me to return to the Earth, to the feminine, the more open and loving aspects of my true nature. The next step is to work out how to unite both aspects...to re-find the peace I once found. The good news is that my "higher" self, the aspect of me that was able to lift myself high enough, to overcome the obstacle created by the light; believes that I can get over these difficulties.


Once again I am tested as I travel my chosen path.

Grandad

The eighteenth anniversary of my Grandfather's passing approaches:

It is a time for remembrance.

..............................

The years have softened sorrow,
The time for tears is past.
Here is the poem I wrote for him then,
When I was just a lass.

..............................

I never really knew you,
though you were always there.
If I faltered you would catch me,
and let me know you cared.

I remember the smell of tobacco,
as it laced the air.
But life is ever fleeting,
you've gone I know not where.

Your home seems so empty,
Your presence no longer felt.
Gone but not forgotten,
not by those with whom you dealt.

We stood about the coffin,
a sob, a muffled cry.
I didn't really understand,
I never thought you'd die.

My love for you will never fade,
although you are deceased.
I'll always remember you as you were,
in the best of health, at least.

But memories grow weary,
and bitterness laid to rest.
I promised you I'd make you proud,
I swear I'll do my best.

..............................

For Grandad...

Never far from our thoughts and always in our hearts.

x x x